How are you curious?
Artwork by Melinda Sinclair
How curious are you? How are you curious? What does it actually mean to be curious? And why does it matter? Or does it matter?
Curiosity is one of those everyday constructs that we often take for granted, without more deeply questioning what it is and how it functions. And yet, there is a robust stream of research on curiosity, research that refines and deepens our understanding of this particular human characteristic.
This research continues to strengthen the link between curiosity and wisdom - wisdom being what we need to live well and lead well in world of sometimes overhelming complexity and permanent flux. The need for curiosity in such a world is elegantly captured by Todd Kashdan, one of the creativity researchers.
“If one thing is certain, it’s that things are always changing. Fail to accept this truth, fail to be open and curious about the new, and stagnation is assured and often, far worse”
For leaders, strengthening curiosity is essential, precisely because of the uncertainty in which they are working. This means not being content to simply assume that they are “appropriately curious”. This is often an important theme in my work as a leadership coach. And one I feel well-equipped to support leaders on - since I am both a curious person curious about curiosity and someone who is often surprised by my own curiosity failures!
Recent research - by a group of researchers funded by the Templeton Foundation - highlights two different forms of curiosity: general interest curiosity and deprivation curiosity. Grasping this distinction can help us cultivate curiosity in ways that add to wisdom.
General interest curiosity celebrates a lack of knowledge as an opportunity to gain more knowledge. With this kind of curiosity we are motivated to learn more for the sake of learning. This leads to intellectual humility - an acceptance that there is much we do not know, and indeed cannot know. We are comfortable with the uncertainty of not knowing. This form of curiosity can even lead to a sense of awe in the face of the unknown and mysterious.
How does deprivation curiosity differ from general interest curiosity? Deprivation curiosity is more utilitarion; it wants a chunk of information that will fill a gap that we find uncomfortable. This kind of curiosity is motivated by a drive to overcome the discomfort of uncertainty. It does not lead to intellectual humility. Instead, it could even lead to a sense of superiority and arrogance.
These two different faces of curiosity have a profound impact on how we engge with others in conversation. One of the researchers explored “conversational curiosity”, and one of the key findings is that general interest curiosity helps us connect more deeply, even in the face of disagreements. Our conversations range wider, we explore more through the questions we ask, and we are more able to hold the uncertainty of opening up to different points of view.
“This engagement with another mind—this actual curiosity about what someone else believes and a willingness to hear an alternate interpretation or explanation—is really important for connection”. - Thalia Wheatley
For myself, and for most (maybe even all?) of my leadership clients, conversation is probably the domain where our curiosity is most profoundly tested. There is often a lot at stake in our conversations. And there are often a range of social and psychological factors at play that can really challenge our ability to be genuinely curious.
So, given the importance of conversation in our lives (personally and professionally), this might be a valuable place to observe your own curiosity in action. Observe yourself in select conversations, and ask yourself:
What am I curious about as I engage with this person in this conversation? How wide and deep does my curiosity go? How curious am I about the other person, their thinking, motivation, feelings? What about the larger context in which the conversation fits?
Where are the edges of my curiosity? What uncertainties in the conversation space am I OK with? Which makes me uncomfortable? Where does “open to knowing” turn into “now I know”?
How has my understanding of the other person, the issue, the context shifted as a result of engaging with genuine open curiosity? How has my perception of myself, of my own knowledge-base, shift? What has surprised me? How might this feeling of surprise help me engage more often in conversation with genuine curiosity?
