Empathy is what makes us connect with others. It makes us help others; it makes us care about what happens to others.
And there is a link between empathy and our chemistry. In a recent TED Talk neuroeconomist Paul Zak describes some interesting research that shows the link between our levels of oxytocin and empathy (and trust and trustworthiness). The research forms part of a larger quest for him, namely, finding what he calls “the moral molecule”. He claims that oxytocin is indeed it.
Ever wonder why most of us get all emotional and warm and fuzzy at weddings? Zak did some interesting “real world” research to explore the link between oxytocin and connection. He managed to draw blood samples from the bridge, groom, family and friends before and after a wedding in England to compare their levels of oxytocin before and after the vows. (How on earth did he sell them on this, I wonder!) What were his findings?
Yes, weddings do cause a release of oxytocin, but in a very specific way. The biggest spike in oxytocin was in the bride, then the bride’s mother, then the groom’s father, then the groom, and further on. As he puts it, the others are all “arrayed around the bride”. The wedding ritual, Zak speculates, has been designed to connect us emotionally to the couple, as a way of supporting them to be successful.
Zak also shows that connection via social media also links to higher levels of oxytocin, especially when we are linked to people we care about.
Zak concludes his talk as follows:
“So oxytocin connects us to other people. Oxytocin makes us feel what other people feel. And it’s so easy to cause people’s brains to release oxytocin. I know how to do it, and my favorite way to do it is, in fact, the easiest. Let me show it to you. Come here. Give me a hug.”
So hug the people you love to spark the chemistry of connection!
Picture Source: DavyLandman via Flickr
